I have always counseled my clients to allow themselves one meal a week to eat the foods they may consciously avoid when trying to lose weight. For most people, that may mean going out to dinner on a weekend evening and splurging a bit: having dessert, or maybe a tasty appetizer or the homemade lasagna you have been craving (note I wrote
I have been working in fitness since 1988, and have spent quite alot of time working specifically with women as either a fitness instructor or a personal training/strength coach. I have many success stories to tell, and won’t bore you with those, because what I really want to discuss are the stories which did not result in success. What determines who succeeds in their fitness goals and who does not?
Well, one very clear characteristic of someone who sees a lack of progress and success, is the client who comes to me with the difficult challenges of being both obese and depressed. Women who come to me ( and some men as well- but this does not seem to be as great a problem with men) who are very obese, and have emotional issues such as depression, rarely are successful at losing weight through personal training alone. I often wondered- is it me? What am I doing wrong?
Well, recently I have come to the conclusion it is NOT me. In fact, in speaking to other trainers, some of whom are THE BEST in the industry, we all agree, the combination of depression and obesity is rampant and debilitating. So- what is the answer for the client and the trainer? How do we solve this problem?
I believe that to be successful at weight loss, the client must address the depression/emotional issues first, and a personal trainer is NOT the right person to address emotional trauma or depression. Many clients come to me thinking that if they fix the outside first, the inside will fix itself. BUT, this rarely happens, as the inside is what is prohibiting success and progress! In order to lose weight and get healthy, one must be upbeat, resilient, patient, and never give up. Clients with a history of emotional issues or depression may not have these instrinsic characteristics. They do not YET believe in themselves, and thus, can not invision THEIR success. A therapist or psychologist is the best equipped person to deal with the pain of depression or past trauma and current emotional issues and, until the client agrees to see a therapist to deal with the emotional issues, they may never unlock the “key” to their success.
So- which came first- obesity or depression? Well, it certainly makes sense that if you are very obese, and you can not walk, or exercise or find clothes that fit you and are judged unfairly by others, you will be depressed about it. But not all of these people are “clinically” depressed. There are some people who were average weight, but because of illness, or injury or lack of education, gained weight over the years and are depressed about it. This is often an easier case for a trainer than a client who always has been depressed or who has had emotional trauma issues, and thus has always been obese BECAUSE they eat for comfort and coping. Either way- it is essential that these types of clients seek professional therapy when necessary in addition to ”exercise therapy” through a personal trainer.
The final word:
Clients- get therapy for emotional issues that are holding you back from your own success and do not expect a personal trainer and exercise to be a cure all.
Trainers- take a detailed health history specifically noting any psychological issues or history of depression, and refer these clients out to an expert as soon necessary.
Research has proven time and time again that keeping a food log increases weight loss success by 60-70%. Unless you know your successes, your pitfalls, your weaknesses, or just plain old bad habits- it’s hard to change them. Seeing your food detailed throughout the day gives you a great picture of what you need to work on, right? Unfortunately, one of the biggest issues my clients have in keeping logs is finding the time to do them. Yes, I know, excuses, excuses. But some may be valid- as keeping a detailed food log takes time and planning, and doing a log for weeks on end can be challenging. So, in an effort to find easier ways for my clients to be successful in journaling, and to offset excuses, excuses, I will ask the client to tailor the log to their specific issues. First, I always ask them to do whole day detailed logs for three days to one week to assess the problems. Then, once problems are identified, we can tailor the logs more specifically. For example, if day time eating has been shown to be healthy, but night time is problematic, I will ask my clients to do a food log just from 4pm on. This is so much more doable- and lessens the likelihood of finding an excuse not to do it. Or, if unconscious snacking is a problem, and meals are not, I ask the client to write down every snack they eat that is not during a meal. This simplifies and amplifies things, as seeing just the problematic eating really hits home. If you are having problems keeping food logs, try this, and see if it eliminates your excuses!
New Year’s has come and gone and I for one am glad! It marks the end of the gluttony of the holiday season, and the beginning of a great time to “restart” and recharge. Many of us will make health and fitness resolutions this time of year, but will those resolutions really stick? Historically speaking, research tells us no: that 60% of us will forget about our exercise plans by April. Can we beat this sad statistic? I believe we can, but only if we work on our internal “mindset” BEFORE we begin to work on outside physical changes.
We all have an internal tape that plays constantly, often negative words we have heard as a child, or words created and echoed by past failures or setbacks. We must change this negative mindset into a positive one- we must “spin” things in a way to convince ourselves that we are strong, we can override a bad day, even a bad week, with healthy choices, and that exercise and eating well are a joy, not a burden.
For example:
Exercise adherence and nutritional success is 80% mental. What separates those who succeed and those who fail, are those who do the “internal” work first. Start today- make a list of all the negative things you may usually say to yourself, and change them to positive thoughts. Keep that list near and read and repeat the mantra when needed. It makes a huge difference!
As you can imagine, when a new client calls me to inquire about personal training, the first thing they always say is “I need help to lose weight”. Of course this makes sense, as weight loss is the most common reason people hire a trainer. But for once, just once, I’d love to hear someone say “I need help because I need to exercise and eat better”. Too many of us, too many of my clients, obsess constantly about losing weight, and yet have not put enough thought into what needs to be done first- exercising and eating well. When people only care about losing weight, and not about being healthy, they are putting the horse before the cart.
In order to be successful at losing weight and maintaining weight loss, the FIRST thing you need to do is embrace the fact that you are going to have to exercise consistently and eat well. Instead of obsessing about your weight and waiting for some miracle to happen, or waiting until the trainer tells you what to do, how about putting your mental energies into planning your exercise and eating regimens?
Once you do this, you can then move ahead and begin to incorporate the healthy lifestyle changes you planned for. Once you begin to embrace exercise and eating well, your trainer will help you fine tune and develop these goals. Expecting the trainer to “motivate” you and “get you started” is not realistic- this is your job. Once you have done these things- guess what! YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT! Now, the cart IS before the horse. You are on the road to reaching your goals of good health AND, weight loss as a RESULT of a healthy lifestyle, NOT as the sole REASON for a healthy lifestyle.
